We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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