One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
