her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
