3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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