If that was your dad, he is hot
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
