thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Randomize
