That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
how drunk are you?
Several
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
