I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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