that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
