a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
