this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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