Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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