first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
