Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
