What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
