called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
