Pappa wants mamma naked
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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