the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
is wine microwaveable?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
