HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize