Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
