Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize