Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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