Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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