Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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