Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
