I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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