but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
