I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
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