Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize