i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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