I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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