Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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