One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she told me i tasted like america
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
