i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm at about main and main street
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
