Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
