hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
