Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
