so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
