so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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