Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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