# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
