Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i now understand why vodka
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
