First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
