Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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