Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
