Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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