i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize