talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
another moral hangover. fuck.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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