how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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