Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize