Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
