Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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