I think I just saw someone hide a body.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
