i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
