Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My vagina is very pro this idea
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
