You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
do herpes really smell.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My bed smells like the plague
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
