Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
