Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
