Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
